Usually I am continuously thinking on open questions I get from books or people and on the flow of situations in my life, turning them around in my head, looking at them from different angles. I live with them, trying to come to some final idea or understanding. These thoughts pull up another books, people and other connected situations that give some answers (you probably noticed it in your experience, - when you think about something, - alike things start happening).

Whether you think of something good or bad, - you make it more real, more probable to happen or somehow come to your life (that is why many fears come true when we actually *do* fear and don’t want them to happen).

What ideas am I thinking on these days? I decided to record a few.

1. Hard work and productivity in a global sense

I must confess to myself and other beings that my office work is truly useless. It doesn’t bring any joy to me or thousands of people visiting sites my company develops. And it will not get any better, as the company is money-oriented only. Sometimes I prefer not to think about it, as I’m leaving this place soon. But is it really fair, am I really seeing things the way they are? What if I die in 3 month, still working in a dull office and promising myself to start a new life tomorrow.. This is a hard question. Usually people ask to stop talking about it and make death a taboo topic. But this is silly, - we can’t run away from it.

Imagine what your life could be if you set a single motivation - reach enlightenment and help others no-matter-what? Life would simplify a lot. It would become beautiful, full of hard work and very realistic. Lama Ole Nyidahl said that those people who work more, - reach more on the way of Dharma, get more blessings and results. They live a full, complete life. We all talk about ego we want to get rid of, but are we really honest with ourselves about it? Are we doing everything we could do today? You can let everything be, thinking that “I have much time. I will do it later. I am tired. I am not in the mood right now”. But the truth is.. we never know how much time we have.

2. Finding my own path and practice

This is a second big thought flying around me for quite a while. I have had a hard week with 2 yoga classes daily at 9am and 7pm and office work in between. By my Saturday’s “2 hours weekend yoga” I got so tired that I felt energetically overworked. I did my personal meditation practice in a public transport through the week and dedicated only 5-10 minutes in the mornings and evenings. This did upset me much (as I started feeling I don’t move anywhere in it, my mind got less meditative and more chaotic). Teaching yoga in this state is difficult because you have to continuously give-give-give, help and coach. Synchronize with others. “No ego”-state. Otherwise the practice becomes empty.

In any case I’m very grateful for this tough experience. I hope I started understanding the point of giving and finding happiness in it. And.. I can’t combine office with such an intensive practice, - it will simply burn me out. I can switch my priorities to own practice and coaching.

Life brings so many challenges and every situation is a key to a deeper understanding.. : )

Lama Ole says: “Sometimes you have to go away from meditation in order to get back to it in a while with a new look”. I agree, I’m starting my meditation with so much aspiration now. I find a saving refuge in it, realizing it’s impact on my mind and the way I treat others.

This is what I’ve been on recently. I always wonder what others think of. Anyone with alike thoughts? : )

Wonderful picture by Gnaharro Flickr free pics

More to read:

The art of turning difficulties into practice

Why are you doing Yoga?

6 perfections that bring light and meaning to your practice